Summer Vacation Begins in HOW Many Days? Help!!!

Summer vacation isn’t here yet, and I have already had to threaten our three boys that I will make them carry a “Complaint Journal.”  I am thinking if they have to document how much they complain by “complaint” and “time” it may be an  eye opening experience for them.
Conversation ended with me threatening second “Smart A$$ Comment Journal”.
 Lord grant me patience and ability to convey a grateful heart to little children.
They may need to wear backpacks all summer for all their record keeping.
I know the kids are ready for summer vacation but ARE YOU?
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My post last night ended with me on the phone until after 1:00am with my sister.  I love my sister.  I left a little party because my sis texted me that my post about our mom, “blew up on FaceBook.”

I walked home and called her.  Thank you Gray Goose for making it so very easy to talk.  No thanking FaceBook for making people call my sister crying. All she knew about my story was I told her I wrote a Mother’s Day post about Mom and it was well received.  We talk.  We talk a lot.  She doesn’t read what I write because…we talk.  She was younger and doesn’t remember as much and everyone is something different to each person.  We talked about that in great detail.  Anyway, I woke up feeling the effects of vodka and brain overload.

Guess what our twin twelve year old boys wanted to demonstrate first thing this morning?  Can you believe they have figured out how to play “We Will Rock You” on their trumpet and trombone…with their feet!  Yes, they blow with their mouths but they are using their feet too.  Amazing right?  Get me some ________ Motrin.


I just attached this because doesn’t everyone need a weekend funny?  Old picture and why does he have on a diaper?  I think he was having trouble at night and when he woke up he ran right out to help dad cut up a branch that had fallen from a storm.  Could just eat him up!


Advice from Anyone Reading this Regularly or Accidentally

I have been cheating.  I have been cheating on my friends at WordPress.  I had a story I wanted to write but it was such a heavy story I didn’t think I should “drag down” my handful of readers at WordPress.  I am “Funny Abbie” on WordPress.  Right?!

I have been copying my posts onto BlogHer and I recently saw they were looking for Mother’s Day posts to feature and well, since you know we all already know WHY I WILL NEVER BE FRESHLY PRESSED…

if you don’t click here…

I decided I to write a Mother’s Day post about my mom.  That is when things took a turn towards “Downesrville.”

Guess what?  BlogHer loved “Depressing Abbie!”  Well, I am just putting it that way to try and be funny.

Here is my predicament…

Do I share this story on WordPress and run away 3 of my 12 readers because I haven’t been true to what content I have been keeping or do I start another blog with “heavier content?”

Next question…

I wrote a very funny story recently with some raging exaggerations, (for the sake of humor) about my in-laws.  Funny, funny, funny stuff.  While I really haven’t shared this blog with more than three people I know and one of those people continues to remind me she does NOT read blogs and NEVER will, (she’s pissed I am not playing tennis this spring with her.) If you’re here reading this, (you know who you are) then well bahahahaha!  Do I need a third blog where I’m anonymous because while this in-law story is mostly (NOT) fake my in-laws may one day have someone print up my story and mail it to them via the post office.  Nothing good would come from my in-laws reading what is going on between my ears.


Do I stay true to “All that makes you…” and delete that “cry” tab and post tomorrow about going to the Van Halen concert last Saturday and why I had to ask a stranger to “Promise you wont steal a kidney, OK?” and get back to “Funny Abbie”

Or do I post the “Mother’s Day” story that was “featured” and let me all hang out?

Can I tell a story about my in-laws with some exaggerations for the sake of making the world a little happier?  Do I need a third blog that is just my imagination based off of real events that I have to make up in my head to keep from killing people?  This was never an issue before as I never said the narrative that plays in my head, out loud.  It may even be relief for my in-laws as they would then have an explanation as to why I chuckle to myself the entire time they are around.

Ohhhh but I am sure no one has done a post about proposing a bill to be able to drop off your in-laws at a “safe haven” no questions asked.  I’m like the kid with the latest sneakers and I can’t walk down my street.

What do you want to read when you stop by “All that makes you..?”

Do I just continue my quest to be Freshly Pressed and post the pictures I take around my yard like this one I took a couple of days ago?  No editing on this required, not one adjustment, nature is beautiful…

Is it ok to mix things up?

-Abbie (the mostly funny, crazy mamma, gardening to watch beauty grow, introspective and sometime tells a sad story Abbie)

Why I will never be “Freshly Pressed”

Why I Will Never be Freshly Pressed

1. I didn’t put TEN REASONS why I will never be “Freshly Pressed” as my title.  Everyone knows you need a numbered list.

2. I usually have a picture of children being rotten in my posts.  The pictures are also of poor quality because I am snapping it with a phone while making sure whatever child is not in the picture isn’t running away and trying to join another family.  Seriously, it’s a real possibility when your mom posts about everything including your “sperm diameter fears.”

3. My pictures of children are of my children at commercial places like Disney World‘s Epcot and not an ethnic and interesting child in Vietnam or some other culturally rich part of the world.  I live in a subdivision.  When we do go on vacation it is to places that don’t require a 22 hour plane ride and 9 vaccinations for each child.

Flower H'mong ladies

4. I do not post pictures of food.  I tend to eat food and not take photos of it.  If I stopped to take a photo of my food or copy a picture of it, it’s probably because I don’t want to eat it because of what it looks like.

I sooooo copied this on my Pinterest board.
I am thinking I will print up the recipe & just leave
it on the kitchen counter for my kids to find.
5. I haven’t used the Hipstamatic. What the hell is Instagram?  If it is what I think I have an entire tote of them from 1976 due to the acid in photo paper back then and my mom’s poor photo storage or lack thereof.
6.  I do not participate in extreme sports and I certainly don’t lay on the ground while a skier or skateboarder does a trick over me for a photo opportunity, living with three little boys is dangerous enough.
7. I don’t put pictures from famous, newly released movies and call it a review and a post.  We all know your just taking some cute and cuddly picture of a character and slapping it up as your post because you are going to get people to click on it.  Uh-huh, you know who you are.  Those stats don’t count.
8. My parents were hippies.  That means I averaged 45 absences per school year and I have no idea how to use a comma and what is the difference between a colon and a semicolon?  Can’t poor punctuation and grammar be considered endearing?
9. I can only think of nine reasons and that isn’t a good round number for “Freshly Pressed.”

Hey All You Writers and Readers!!!

Dear Writers and Readers,

I have so many questions and as much as I look things up on the web I really just value the opinion of the people who are writing and reading regularly, NOW.  I am trying to figure out how often to post.  I keep reading to post often and regularly to be successful.  Don’t y’all get sick of me?  If I am telling stories is it best to post three times a week and schedule them say M,W and F?  Or do I post a story one day and just a picture with a caption the next and repeat?  Does anyone read on Saturday and does it matter?  I don’t know!

I am wrapping up a post I am just tickled with, (that means it will get read about 12 times I have learned in the short time I have been doing this) and I am planning on scheduling it for tomorrow.  I am trying to cut down on how many times I revise something after I publish.  I know I’m not supposed to do that and CLEARLY I am not doing it for grammar or punctuation!  I just see a way to write it that is funnier or with a clearer description and then I’m on the “Update Interstate” and unable to stop rewriting.

If you attempt to read me regularly what advise would you give?  Are my stories too long?  Am I doing something that gets on your nerves?  Is there another blog you think I should visit and read?  Should I stop inserting my own poor quality family photos and use pics, like a lot of people do, from the web.  Am I using too many pictures?  Should I go back to third grade and actually learn how to use a comma?  Would it make me a bad person to ask for a girl if we ever adopt?

Help a sister out.  I am still avoiding that laundry pile.