A couple of months ago I decided to dump my underwear drawer in the middle of the floor, during a dinner party, filled with strangers.
That is my way of saying I started a blog, because that is what if felt like. It still does every time I hit that “post” button. I know I keep using the analogy and eventually I will get around to the story of someone actually meeting me and my underwear drawer contents at the same time. Remind me. I forget a lot. So many stupid things happen to me that if I were you I would just accept the idea that I must lie. Underwear story though, 100% true.
Every time I hit the “publish post” button I expect people to comment with things like…
– It’s like your pouring acid in my eyes with the crap you put on here.
– This is Al Gore. You are not allowed to use the internet anymore.
– What are you doing? People without any grammar and punctuation skills should not communicate, yet alone have a blog.
– You suck.
– What county and state do you live in so I can call Child Protective Services?
– Do you need the name of a psychiatrist?
– You are THE argument AGAINST free speech.
– “Put the laptop down. Walk away from the laptop.” -The spirit of Steve Jobs made me type that. (stop it, it’s funny)
– Please tell me a child is writing this.
Instead, I found really, really terrific people. I found people who never talk to me in a whine voice and end sentences with, “But it’s not fair!” I have people from all over the world and from all walks of life reading and commenting on my silly stories. Finally, people know why I am smiling, because I am sharing the commentary that is in my head. It turns out my kids may not have driven me to insanity but instead they may have driven me “funny?” No one is saying, (in same whine voice) “Your NOT funny!”
You all think it’s hilarious TOO when my 12 year-olds learned about sperm and all that they are worried about is the diameter of the “little fish” that are going to shoot out their penis hole. They did not think I was funny when I was crying laughing because they asked if it was a “liquid or a solid?” I can’t even remember if I told that whole story but if you remember, comment. If I haven’t, remind me about that too.
I love comments! They are like the good kind of Gummy Bears, Haribo.
Then I get nominated for awards! I love awards! I don’t get awards at home. I get chewed up gum in the bottom of my purse when my kids don’t know where the trash can is. I get the Lucky Charms, AFTER the kids picked out all the marshmallows.
So thank you to these kind, generous, POLITE souls who I know wouldn’t eat the cherry off my sundae before I even had a bite of ice cream.
Genuine Blogger Award
Plan B~each head on over and see her and give her some kind words, she needs them right now.
And a Thank You to…
Chris Hall at Jaydon’s Playground http://paper.li/Jaydon_Daddy/1333591305
I honestly follow a ton of people and I read a lot of posts while I am waiting for the boys at various places. I follow and scroll through and bounce around and love it when I find a post that touches me or that I can relate to, makes me laugh or squeal with delight someone is putting something that gross or naughty into words. I have read and will continue to read all of these folks.
Now this is how I want to share the love because I frankly don’t want to miss someone on my pass it on list.
Can you post in the comments below, links to blogs that you think I might enjoy and why? I would love to add some new people to follow that I haven’t stumbled upon yet. I would love all of my WordPress friends to give me input as to other blogs they think are cool as it seems we all share at least one common thread.
So many rules to these awards…
I am going to tell you a few things about me.
This way you feel less weird or less weird your still looking at my underwear drawer trying to figure out why would I still have maternity underwear when my youngest is seven.
Favorite Maurice Sendac Book: Pierre because it taught me what could happen if you didn’t care and because Carole King sings it.
Most Unreasonable Fear, (I fully know that it is unreasonable): Wiener dogs. I had recurring dreams as a child about wiener dogs with heads on either end.
Fight or Flight: Fight
This is for Sid Dunnebacke to Whom I Told I Don’t Play by Rules
Sunshine Award Questions:
1. What’s my favorite color? – Green
2. What’s my favorite number? – 5 and I don’t know why.
3. What’s my favorite non-alcoholic drink? Squirt, but I drink water 😦
4. Do I go for Facebook or Twitter? – FaceBook. I am a wordy girl!
5. What’s my passion? – My boys.
6. What’s my favorite pattern? – Paisley. Paisley! Which gets me into all kinds of trouble because it is my husbands least favorite. The black bathroom wallpaper with 4′ paisley I had hung, he noticed.
7. What’s my favorite day of the week? – Saturday. I mean, I guess. (copied 😉
8. What’s my favorite flower? That is like picking a favorite child. I can’t do that.
Thank you all again and please add any blog links that you enjoy and that you think I should follow so that I can add them to my follow list.
I enjoyed this and you might too… This is all a conversation, right? http://broadsideblog.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/have-we-lost-the-art-of-conversation/
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Congrats on your much deserved awards! I am so glad to have found your blog and to be one of your followers! 🙂
I am glad you are following! It is nice to have people that will comment. I spent a long time thinking I was talking to myself. 😉 Thank you!
You done good! Really, really, good. And this is why I am so hooked on blogging, too!
It is addicting. Totally up my “social” alley too as someone will get my humor, surely, I hope. He, he, he. I can go through two years at the elementary school where my son attends and have every other mom look at me like I am CRAZY. I am glad all my fellow bloggers are CRAZY too! 😉
Congrats! And hey, we have the same issue with paisleys.
WHat is it with them that you either love or hate. My powder room wallpaper makes people rave or say things that are inappropriate and I love that so it’s staying. It’s staying until one of my boys decides that pooping is taking too long and they will pass the time with picking the wallpaper off the walls. Yep, they did. That is how I got the paisley kind.
Two words: more fiber.
Congrats on your awards – and I loved this post! 🙂
I admit, I was laughing at myself. Shamelessly, then I struggled with how wrong the Steve Jobs comment was and decided, it is something I would say without having the opportunity to delete and so I left it.
I very much so appreciate your posts so please keep it up. I don’t think it would ever be possible for people to leave mean or discouraging comments to you because your stories are just THAT great. Thanks for “showing us your underwear” every time you post! And congratulations on all those awards! 🙂
Thanks and thanks for coming by and commenting. I worried that I would grow tired of it but I really love the story telling aspect and the fact that it makes be go through photos. I love photos! I have lots of stories rattling around in my head that I am looking forward to sharing.
Very, very funny! Keep blogging…
Thank you. Let’s call it “story telling” that way no one gets bent out of shape at all of my grammatical errors. It is so unfortunate I have to use written word since people wont come to my house and sit on the deck with me so I can get all these stories out. 😉
Have you ever tried video blogging or using the voice feature of WordPress?
Is there anyone who likes their voice or seeing themselves talk? It takes a tremendous amount of liquid courage to get me to go up on stage once a year for a Hospice fundraiser, and then I wear two different shoes. I wish I could make this stuff up! I even have pictures! I may try it though. People would stop coming by my blog because I am very animated. I’ve been trying the botox on my forehead so my husband will love me more. 😉 I am the most transparent person you probably ever met and when I think you are a dumb@$$, my forehead shows it. Ha ha!
You’re very funny. Somehow I doubt that an audio post would turn people away. Me? I like it because then I can do a post if I get a bright idea while I’m driving, walking, etc. The only thing you have to remember is to go back later and apply your metadata so that people will find the post in search. Here are some other tips I put together for us WordPress.com bloggers; http://toddlohenry.com/category/blogging-tips/
Mata data? I have no idea what that is. I need a post about how not to blog correctly. For real I have no idea what I am doing.
This was the first post of yours I read and it reminded me of this blog:
THANK YOU! I have been by there twice and subscribed to her FB. How do you read her?
Pretty much just on her website. Occasionally I’ll click over to her Babble links when it looks interesting. Read her old stuff though, it’s really good!
Congrats on all the awards…you deserved it..
Aaaaawwwww….this is just fun!
Happy Friday to you and your family, Jenny
Genius. I’m just not sure how I’m going to explain to my wife my association with “Abbie’s underwear drawer”. Anyway, thanks for the shout-outs!
Likely that you are both slow blinkers so just tell her I’m a fast blinker. 😉 Being a slow blinker is good. It means you think before talking.