I am Abbie and I write down our stories because, let’s face it, I am never going to make a scrap book.
“If you would just smile she would STOP taking our picture!”
Our Norman Rockwell moment.
I just started February 29, 2012 and so far I feel like I’m giving birth…mostly that legs apart and up in the air while naked in a well lit room with strangers…feeling.
“You keep an eye out Peter while we sneak a kiss.”
“Those aren’t real boobies mom! They just have sponges under the shirt!”
The stories I write are to give our kids one day. Having a forum* to share our “funnies” encourages me to write them down so that when they have children of their own…
I can show them that they will only get to the brink of insanity.
Ha, take that! The “nut house” would be a vacation and God needs parents to stay home and take care of their kids! I will be sitting back laughing at my grandchildren’s “funnies” while watching my own grown kids squeegee the cooking oil off the floor.
I’m pretty sure their kids will one day POUR COOKING OIL ON THE FLOOR to slide around on or POUR A GALLON OF MILK INTO THE CARPET to see if it makes its way to the pipes that we should have NEVER told them run all over under the floors.
So I may be new to blogging (I mostly have not done it because I HATE the word blog and I just realized that I stopped breathing when I typed the word) but I have years worth of stories that I will try and deliver daily to make you smile, laugh, think, love and possibly occasionally cry.
* My parents were hippies and I may not have made it to school as often as I should have.
That is your warning.
I write as I think and am already aware I do not know how to use a comma or most punctuation. Up until now I made my husband proofread our Christmas letter which was the extent of anyone seeing my thoughts fall onto paper. Thank God he finds my inadequacies cute. Oh, and thank God for spell check.
Please don’t make me regret this thing yet.
What have I gotten myself into?
People like to tell me my kids are funny. I always reply with all kids are funny. It is wrapping your mind around the moment and finding the humor.
Halloween 2011 and yes, that is Doogie Howser MD and Vinny.
They are IDENTICAL twins and this is how much they looked alike before the can of black hairspray.
I believe in having a grateful heart and being joyful mother of children. I am trying my best to instill in my children that we have to find things to be grateful for in order to be happy.
“Oh no Bat Baby, have mercy!”
I want to create a place for people to check after they have read the days news in the car pickup line at school or on the side of a practice field and now you need a smile.
“Mom, the baby is eating dirt…don’t worry he likes it!”
“You did WHAT Boys?
That is me, Abbie and that is what I say, a lot.
What you cannot see on the floor behind me is my constant pile of clothes I am trying to fold, at all times.
Let me help you.
I should be happy to be folding clothes because that would mean I am not pulling a slug off of someone or cleaning milkshake off the ceiling…
or for that matter, getting the legos out of the blender.
I can help you with that one too.
I started sharing my favorite stories in March of 2012.
I have written them down for years, (check out the “Why” tab) and I take pictures of everything. Clearly.
Avery is really is not happy
because I am taking a picture
instead of helping him
get the bag off of his head
He is 4 in this photo
Avery is the “oldest” of the twins and likes to say since they are identicals and came from the same egg he “made” Mitchell. Avery is now 12.
Mitchell just happy I’m taking
his picture despite not being able
to get the bag stuck on his head.
He is 4 in this photo.
Mitchell is 12 now and he says he is a “chick maggot”.
This is our Peter.
Peter is four in this photo.
Peter is now eight…
…and Peter has had an entire post dedicated to things he said called,
“The $hit my kid says is funnier than the $hit your dad says.”
Jim is my husband and while he was in medical school I began emailing him stories of our kids for him to read when he had a minute or two knowing he was missing out on these “priceless” moments. It may have also have been to explain my future trip to the nut house that I didn’t realize was an unobtainable goal.
I would send our favorite story in our annual Christmas letter and then when people were requesting I add them to the mailing list to get the “DREADED” Christmas letter I decided this may be a better idea.
Our Mutt Lilly (if she could talk) “My brothers have found a new way to entertain themselves… When I am outside they yell, “Lilly in the house!” The funny part to them and not me is when I barrel through the yard and leap up the stairs and…this is the part that makes them laugh…I slam face first into a SHUT door. I don’t mind. I like making them laugh but our mom made them stop.
If you need a laugh today…
Hit the “Follow me” button and I will try to tell you a story regularly that you can relate to. A story that makes you smile, laugh, think, love cry or cry laughing.
What I cannot figure out is why they have “The Real Housewives of…” but no one has a reality show of what a REAL housewife’s life is like. We have the most crazy fun REAL times in a crazy fun real gated community with our families. The best part is that we know how abnormal it all is and we go with it.
I nominated you and your blog for the Genuine Blogger Award (no strings) and the Sunshine Award (sorry about the strings). I enjoy your work and thought you should know. Yep – I know ALundeberg beat me to it. Don’t care. – Sid
Ohhhhhh…..and I should have been sleeping. Thank you and I am putting together my post. You don’t really think I am going to follow “strings” do you? 😉
Not really, no. Good for you, too – it’s a bit of work!
1/2 a kid! Oh no! One of me very best friends swears that people get divorced to get breaks from their children! Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I am going to get over and take a look at yours soon. Must clean and do all that housewife stuff today. yuck!
I have very much enjoyed my trip around your “place on the internet”, (I hate the b word too, I wish it had grown up already into something cooler). I´ve just gotten started as well, though 1 and a half kids is not yet as challenging as 3, that´s for sure! (joint custody of a stepkid constitutes the half there). Looking forward to reading more and your photos and layout are lovely! Good luck!
I am SO having a hard time leaving this “blog” (I don’t like the word either, if that helps–I was calling mine a “website” until I was educated by my snooty friend….never mind). Such great, life-affirming humor–okay, I need to go get dressed now! God bless you abundantly.
Well you ended up making me smile.
Welcome – I’m a newbie too. I’m too lazy to journal and my second child never got a baby book (I know I’m going to have to pay for therapy down the road for that one) so a blog is the perfect way to write down all the craziness. One day we’ll look back and read these posts and say “did that actually happen?” and our kids will read it and sue us for defamation. Keep it up…very entertaining.
I will counter sue for them turning my bellybutton into a cup holder. Can I have one pregnancy that doesn’t result in double digits? I will go take a look at yours. Thanks for coming by! Feel free to share. 🙂
Think you have a case there!
glad to meet you! hope to read more!
Thanks and I cannot believe I am having trouble narrowing down what story to use so I should be posting regularly. That means it is a miracle that I have survived this long with “living in a sitcom”.
I thought about the brain comment! We should probably never meet and I am guessing you are married to an introvert too.
Ok we may in fact share a brain. We do share a purpose. My goal is to make people laugh and give them a little encouragement along with it. I figure if I have these adventures, I might as well share them. Heck, I wear a cape to car line sometimes just for the fun of it. Character building for my kids. And payback for diapers.
Welcome to the land of the blog. And if your goal is to share your funnies with your kids some day….screw the importance of punctuation!! Over-rated…(see just randomly throw in ellipses and hyphens. It feels oh so good)
Glad you found me today and pointed me in your direction. Have fun and keep up with the funny.
Thanks for coming by and giving me encouragement to write despite the fact that I have zero punctuation skills! I completely enjoy your humor and appreciate you commenting. My husband keeps telling me my punctuation is like being an ugly guy in the porn business. Bahahaha! I have a nice “story” but you have to look at my misuse of commas. Bahaha!