Tag Archives: freshly pressed

Advice from Anyone Reading this Regularly or Accidentally

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I have been cheating.  I have been cheating on my friends at WordPress.  I had a story I wanted to write but it was such a heavy story I didn’t think I should “drag down” my handful of readers at WordPress.  I am “Funny Abbie” on WordPress.  Right?!

I have been copying my posts onto BlogHer and I recently saw they were looking for Mother’s Day posts to feature and well, since you know we all already know WHY I WILL NEVER BE FRESHLY PRESSED…

if you don’t click here…

https://allthatmakesyou.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/why-i-will-never-be-freshly-pressed/

I decided I to write a Mother’s Day post about my mom.  That is when things took a turn towards “Downesrville.”

Guess what?  BlogHer loved “Depressing Abbie!”  Well, I am just putting it that way to try and be funny.

Here is my predicament…

Do I share this story on WordPress and run away 3 of my 12 readers because I haven’t been true to what content I have been keeping or do I start another blog with “heavier content?”

Next question…

I wrote a very funny story recently with some raging exaggerations, (for the sake of humor) about my in-laws.  Funny, funny, funny stuff.  While I really haven’t shared this blog with more than three people I know and one of those people continues to remind me she does NOT read blogs and NEVER will, (she’s pissed I am not playing tennis this spring with her.) If you’re here reading this, (you know who you are) then well bahahahaha!  Do I need a third blog where I’m anonymous because while this in-law story is mostly (NOT) fake my in-laws may one day have someone print up my story and mail it to them via the post office.  Nothing good would come from my in-laws reading what is going on between my ears.

Summary…

Do I stay true to “All that makes you…” and delete that “cry” tab and post tomorrow about going to the Van Halen concert last Saturday and why I had to ask a stranger to “Promise you wont steal a kidney, OK?” and get back to “Funny Abbie”

Or do I post the “Mother’s Day” story that was “featured” and let me all hang out?

Can I tell a story about my in-laws with some exaggerations for the sake of making the world a little happier?  Do I need a third blog that is just my imagination based off of real events that I have to make up in my head to keep from killing people?  This was never an issue before as I never said the narrative that plays in my head, out loud.  It may even be relief for my in-laws as they would then have an explanation as to why I chuckle to myself the entire time they are around.

Ohhhh but I am sure no one has done a post about proposing a bill to be able to drop off your in-laws at a “safe haven” no questions asked.  I’m like the kid with the latest sneakers and I can’t walk down my street.

What do you want to read when you stop by “All that makes you..?”

Do I just continue my quest to be Freshly Pressed and post the pictures I take around my yard like this one I took a couple of days ago?  No editing on this required, not one adjustment, nature is beautiful…

Is it ok to mix things up?

-Abbie (the mostly funny, crazy mamma, gardening to watch beauty grow, introspective and sometime tells a sad story Abbie)

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Why I will never be “Freshly Pressed”

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Why I Will Never be Freshly Pressed

1. I didn’t put TEN REASONS why I will never be “Freshly Pressed” as my title.  Everyone knows you need a numbered list.

2. I usually have a picture of children being rotten in my posts.  The pictures are also of poor quality because I am snapping it with a phone while making sure whatever child is not in the picture isn’t running away and trying to join another family.  Seriously, it’s a real possibility when your mom posts about everything including your “sperm diameter fears.”

3. My pictures of children are of my children at commercial places like Disney World‘s Epcot and not an ethnic and interesting child in Vietnam or some other culturally rich part of the world.  I live in a subdivision.  When we do go on vacation it is to places that don’t require a 22 hour plane ride and 9 vaccinations for each child.

Flower H'mong ladies

http://www.vktour.com/page3/page3h.html

4. I do not post pictures of food.  I tend to eat food and not take photos of it.  If I stopped to take a photo of my food or copy a picture of it, it’s probably because I don’t want to eat it because of what it looks like.

I sooooo copied this on my Pinterest board.
I am thinking I will print up the recipe & just leave
it on the kitchen counter for my kids to find.
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5. I haven’t used the Hipstamatic. What the hell is Instagram?  If it is what I think I have an entire tote of them from 1976 due to the acid in photo paper back then and my mom’s poor photo storage or lack thereof.
6.  I do not participate in extreme sports and I certainly don’t lay on the ground while a skier or skateboarder does a trick over me for a photo opportunity, living with three little boys is dangerous enough.
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7. I don’t put pictures from famous, newly released movies and call it a review and a post.  We all know your just taking some cute and cuddly picture of a character and slapping it up as your post because you are going to get people to click on it.  Uh-huh, you know who you are.  Those stats don’t count.
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8. My parents were hippies.  That means I averaged 45 absences per school year and I have no idea how to use a comma and what is the difference between a colon and a semicolon?  Can’t poor punctuation and grammar be considered endearing?
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9. I can only think of nine reasons and that isn’t a good round number for “Freshly Pressed.”

Our families downward spiral to being the next generation of Jacka$$ cast.

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I have been voicing my constant worry since my three boys started talking.  What keeps me up at night?  I don’t want to be that poor mother on Jacka$$.  You know, Bam’s mom.  The mom that they set fireworks off at night in a trash can in her bedroom, while she is sleeping.  I am worried my boys, (and me, the victim) will be the next generation of the Jacka$$ cast.

I found a video Peter left on my laptop last night that I found this morning.  I just had to share it with you.  Apparently, he wants to be like his older REAL identical twin brothers.  He cannot even keep a straight face.  It’s really short but has me rolling laughing while having my coffee this morning.  Just click the link to my Facebook page or try this…

https://www.facebook.com/allthatmakesyou

I think he was drunk…on leftover Easter Hawaiian Punch, (judging from his red mustache).  You can hear his funny scratchy voice.  He loves to say, “dang” but I know in his head that is not what he’s saying.  I have worse things they have done but sharing the pictures from the Christmas we bought them the digital cameras and found them giggling in the bathroom with the cameras shoved down their pajama bottoms, is probably not appropriate.  You always open a closed door to a room when you hear three boys laughing so hard they are gasping for air.

I started coping my posts over at BlogHer to figure out where I belong since I started sharing my stories Feb 29th.   They featured my Easter bunny story Friday.  It was super exciting, (for a nerdy girl like me.)  I still haven’t decided where I will park “All that makes you…”   I enjoy the WordPress crowd but know I have a ton to learn.  Oh, a girl can dream of getting Freshly Pressed but they must have “punctuation rules”. 😉

I will have a story tomorrow so follow me and GO WATCH THAT VIDEO AND HEAR ONE OF PETER’S STORIES!

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Here is the link for the featured story on BlogHer.

http://www.blogher.com/another-holiday-tries-turn-me-liar

“Colored Chicks Banned From Country Club” was funnier I thought!

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That is me.  I am trying to follow other bloggers advice in using a picture of myself for my site.  I personally like our Norman Rockwell photo that wasn’t planned where the older boys are saying, “Come on!  If you would just smile Peter she would STOP taking our picture!”  But hey, I will snap pictures of myself with my laptop versus folding clothes anyway!

Elliott found my laptop because I was trying to get a PhotoBooth picture of me for my Gravatar.  He who takes the photos in the house, has no photos of themselves.  Our boys have taken up “Hillbilly Hand Fishing” in the pond which means I do NOTHING BUT WASH CLOTHES, poorly.

Having the laptop out snapping pictures has made for two future posts with “happenings” going on behind the pictures of me…those poor, poor Peeps.  I can’t wait to write that story…with the pictures of Jim and Peter behind me….the poor Peeps between them.  Their faces say it all.

-Abbie  allthatmakesyou.com

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“The Place Between Where The Babies Exit Out” -Said From A Highly Intelligent Mom

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Mitchell, “You know mom we start health this week.”
Both boys looking back and forth at each other like I don’t know what they learn in health.
Avery, “We need a new binder for notes”
Mitchell, “Yeah, the teacher said were taking a LOT of notes.”
Avery, “Notes about SEX. Everyday, talking about sex, sex, sex, sex.“
Mitchell, “Yeah we need a BIG binder.”

They are smiling so big that they are getting to say the word and that they are making me uncomfortable I just kept cooking dinner so as to not give them any satisfaction.
About a week later…
I’m busy cooking, again. Avery and Mitchell are in the living room whispering and giggling.
Finally, Avery announces, “Hey Mom! (all three giggle) Hey Mom! Do you know what a Fall-la-va-gees is?”
I already know what their working on trying to say even though they are acting, (again) like they are smarter than me.
So I say, “No.” and keep chopping up vegetables.
They continue whispering and giggling and then Mitchell says, “No… not that. It’s called a VEE-C-chay. Do you know what that is?”
Avery is beside himself laughing.
I am not helping them with this one!
I have been avoiding teaching them THIS WORD with the same tenacity I had in avoiding teaching them to open the fridge when they were toddlers and with the same rabid avoidance when everyone else was giving their kids the family internet password so their kids could surf the net. I managed to explain the birds and the bees without teaching a house full of boys THIS WORD.
It is now out of my control as apparently the big boys have learned the proper term for what we WERE calling “the place BETWEEN where babies exit out”.
I have one more day until they hear the word again from their new health class at school. I have one more day until I hear them squabbling and calling each other the “V” word and giggling…BUT FOR TODAY I say, “No. I have NO idea what you are trying to say.” I then exit the room and join JR in another and we whisper and giggle.
Do you think WordPress would actually “Freshly Pressed” a post about the benefits of NOT teaching your child the anatomically correct names for body parts? I guess only if the person doing the choosing was the mother of multiple boys.