“The Place Between Where The Babies Exit Out” -Said From A Highly Intelligent Mom

Mitchell, “You know mom we start health this week.”
Both boys looking back and forth at each other like I don’t know what they learn in health.
Avery, “We need a new binder for notes”
Mitchell, “Yeah, the teacher said were taking a LOT of notes.”
Avery, “Notes about SEX. Everyday, talking about sex, sex, sex, sex.
Mitchell, “Yeah we need a BIG binder.”

They are smiling so big that they are getting to say the word and that they are making me uncomfortable I just kept cooking dinner so as to not give them any satisfaction.
About a week later…
I’m busy cooking, again. Avery and Mitchell are in the living room whispering and giggling.
Finally, Avery announces, “Hey Mom! (all three giggle) Hey Mom! Do you know what a Fall-la-va-gees is?”
I already know what their working on trying to say even though they are acting, (again) like they are smarter than me.
So I say, “No.” and keep chopping up vegetables.
They continue whispering and giggling and then Mitchell says, “No… not that. It’s called a VEE-C-chay. Do you know what that is?”
Avery is beside himself laughing.
I am not helping them with this one!
I have been avoiding teaching them THIS WORD with the same tenacity I had in avoiding teaching them to open the fridge when they were toddlers and with the same rabid avoidance when everyone else was giving their kids the family internet password so their kids could surf the net. I managed to explain the birds and the bees without teaching a house full of boys THIS WORD.
It is now out of my control as apparently the big boys have learned the proper term for what we WERE calling “the place BETWEEN where babies exit out”.
I have one more day until they hear the word again from their new health class at school. I have one more day until I hear them squabbling and calling each other the “V” word and giggling…BUT FOR TODAY I say, “No. I have NO idea what you are trying to say.” I then exit the room and join JR in another and we whisper and giggle.
Do you think WordPress would actually “Freshly Pressed” a post about the benefits of NOT teaching your child the anatomically correct names for body parts? I guess only if the person doing the choosing was the mother of multiple boys.

10 thoughts on ““The Place Between Where The Babies Exit Out” -Said From A Highly Intelligent Mom

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  3. I only have one boy and I taught him the “V word” when he first asked what it was. Though for him it was more like a “B” word. LOL. When he was little girls had a bagina and boys had a penits. I don’t know why he threw that “t” in there, but it was funny. Because of the really small town we lived in, I actually explained to him the whole birds and bees process earlier than I would have liked to. The problem was that our small town made all kids k-12 ride on the same bus together, causing him to hear things I wish he’d never heard. So when he actually took health, he was already well prepared.

    Just out of curiosity, why did you not want to teach them the “V” word? I was laughing at your boys. I love when they think they know something you don’t. It’s so much fun.

    • Thanks for reading! I knew they would be saying in constantly and using at like, “your such a vagina!” I knew they would eventually learn it. The idea of them asking (loudly) in a restaurant, “mom does your vagina hurt when it gets kicked?” was just one less embarrassing social situation I might avoid. The older boys also think I am a complete moron when it comes to school work. That also works for me. 😉 Kids are so much fun, except when they’re being monsters. Then I remind them I will always love them because I’m their mom and hope that it passes soon.

  4. I’m with Julie–I don’t have kids, but I fully believe they’re the best free entertainment going!! Thanks for a new place to come for a good laugh! God bless you all.

  5. Prior to having my own kids I would encourage unruly behavior such as telling my cousins kids the way to Disney World was through their return air ducts in the house. This is another confirmation as to why I know God has a sense of humor, he gave me three boys. Thanks for reading!

  6. I don’t have children … and I’m horrible about not being able to laugh at kids’ funny comments and antics, thereby unwittingly egging them on, much to my relatives’ dismay – If I lived at your house, I would have just died laughing long before now …. LOL! ~ Julie 🙂

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