You look at the contents of my “underwear drawer” and then nominate me for awards? Cool.

I was nominated for a few awards and since I am new to this whole realm I needed to get my bearings before I passed them on.  Thank you for being patient if you nominated me.  It really is an honor to know someone was reading your blog and took the time to share.

I was nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award by three bloggers (I still cannot believe three people are reading my thoughts.)  Thinking, again, about how this whole experience feels like dumping my underwear in the middle of the floor at a dinner party.  What am I doing?  I don’t even know how to use a comma.  Thanks for reading and nominating and commenting and there must be something wrong with you…I like it.

Plan-B Each –

The Adventures of Jaydon and Daddy –

Unfinishedbizness  –

I have to say a special thank you to Stacy Dymalski at From Nonsense to Momsense for giving me word of encouragement and my first award nomination.

You can find her here.

The rules for accepting this award are as follows, (These are the Versatile Blogger rules.  Hey, I am busy chasing three boys!  Nominate me another time and I will answer the Sunshine Award questions.)

1. Thank the award-givers and link back to them in your post.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass this award along to the people’s blogs I enjoy

4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.

Seven things about me…

1.  I was named after a man, Abbie Hoffman. He was a political activist and author whom the FBI admitted to having a file on him 13,262 pages long.  My parents had high expectations for me.

2.  I know how to use a blowtorch.

3. I enjoy reading two books to my children repetitively when they are young.  They even let me do them in the crazy voices and never complain.

The Big Bad Wolf is Good

Bootsie Barker Bites

4. I enjoy digging in the dirt and planting things far more than a glass of wine.  I enjoy gardening even more with music and my boys running around me.

5. I can hula and even use poi balls, (my boys find it hilarious but I wont earn their respect until I light the poi balls on fire.)

6. I am not a germ freak but I cannot stand in a tile shower without flip flops on.

7. Sponge Bob and Nicki Minaj make my ears feel like someone is pouring acid in them.

Blogs I enjoy

I haven’t read a ton of blogs but I am trying to see what is out there.  I am fearful it will change how I write my stories that I want to give my kids one day.  The whole reason I started writing was so that they would know who I was at this moment and how I interpreted our family.  It’s a legal thing in case they decide to sue me when they grow up (and because my own mom died at 39 before she had a chance for me to know who she was.  Now that I am her age I think often how she really was just doing the best she could with her circumstances.  I am still pissed at her though.)  I am already planning to counter sue my boys for refusing to exit my uterus thus destroying my belly button and turning it into a cup holder.  You all may get subpoenaed.  I’m kidding.  I’m kidding.  I’m kidding.

And a Liebster Blog award from Chris Hall.

Thank you so much Chris! This award is for newbies with a small number of followers to help spread the word about their new blog.

Thanks again Chris

I will share a brand new blog that I enjoy but already has had way more hits that I have.  Lucky girl with being “Freshly Pressed” on her first post!

Oh, and I know I am doing the links and trackbacks and all the other technical stuff wrong.  I will eventually figure this all out.  Thanks for being patient.

Barber missing fingers wielding scissors…

I‘m new to WordPress and I’m trying to post a quick story every day that makes you smile, laugh, think, love, cry or cry laughing.  A story that you can relate to because we are all part of some kind of family and community and life is funny and wonderful.  Please check out my other posts and if you like them click my “follow” button top right.  Come and read me after you have read the news or while you are sitting in the car pick up/drop off line or while sitting on the side of a practice field…Story below.

All that makes you…!/allthatmakesyou

Avery and Mitchell (our twins) were ready for their first “real” haircut at a barber shop. I took them to this great place with an old barber pole so I could get pictures of them next to it. I had heard horror stories of kids screaming when they saw the scissors so we had a talk before about how the barber will only cut their hair and it doesn’t hurt. It is the same way we trim fingernails and not fingers.  They were so young I knew I could bribe them with a lollipop if they were good and didn’t cry.

The time came to put one of them in a chair, on the booster and with the cape on. I held the lollipop in front of him and smiled very wide so to set the tone of how NOT scary this is.

Here comes the barber with big silver scissors and prosthetic fingers. Uh huh….like rubber fingers, on his hand and they had turned orange, (I’m guessing from using chemicals for disinfectant.)

I’m trying to not look. Be cool. Normally seeing someone with a prosthetic is not a big deal but he is standing there with scissors and to two, two year old it looks like he accidentally cut off his own fingers!

I am trying so hard to act like this is not happening and trying to distract the boys from pointing and screaming. I am waving the lollipop and saying, “look what I have! When you all done you can have this! I have a FINGER….I MEAN lollipop when you are done!”  Then, “He’s almost done with your FINGER…I MEAN HAIR!…”

I turn into Elaine from Seinfeld or Old Christine whenever I get nervous. I could not stop saying finger. Their eyes followed his hands everywhere they went and I finally just unwrapped three lollipops and stuck one in each of our mouths.

(I am reworking my first weeks posts during the weekend.  I will have new posts during the week until I figure out my rhythm with WordPress.)

Forgot to tell them to keep their heads out of the toilet.

While my husband was in residency we had the twins in a preschool program that was run through the public schools. The school system had many requirements that included the children being “bathroom independent”. This means they require no assistance in the restroom.

I walked in the classroom one day to pick up the boys when the teachers suggested that all of the parents of boys to take the boys home and put them right in the bath. The teacher was smiling and could barely say it without laughing. I waited until all the other parents left the room, (my morbid curiosity as both my boys were wet) and approached the teachers. I said something like, “OK, I know mine were part of whatever went down today. What exactly happened?”
The teachers suddenly had a confused look on their faces and one said, “Well, I was in the hall waiting for the boys to finish their bathroom break and they were taking a little longer than usual. I decided it was getting way too loud in there so I opened the boys bathroom and…I don’t understand why…I mean they were laughing and…ALL OF THE BOYS WERE STICKING THEIR HEADS IN THE URINALS AND FLICKING THEIR HAIR AT EACH OTHER AND LAUGHING!”

Whhhhaaaaattttttt????? Then suddenly I figured out what would make them do this and I knew that mine had started it. The night before, to keep them busy, I put a couple inches of water in the bath and dyed it BLUE and gave them toy sailboats and they were pushing them around. I told them we were playing “ocean”.  I was busy changing sheets when I heard them getting loud and when I walked into our bathroom they were leaning over the side of the bathtub and were dipping their hair in the blue “ocean” water (the color of blue urinal thingys) and flicking it at each other and laughing like fraternity boys half way through a keg.
So mine were to blame and since it was pretty funny and since I never really got along with “teachers” 😉 I said, “oh, that’s my fault. Whenever one of them has an accident in their pants I dunk their head in the toilet to teach them a lesson.” And then I walked away. What are they thinking leaving a bathroom full of boys unattended?!