Happy Mothers Day Ya-Ya’s!

Happy Mothers Day!
Happy Mother’s Day Ya-Yas!!!!!

May your day be filled with hugs and dishes making their way through the dishwasher without your assistance. May not one tattle happen for 24 hours and may you eat whatever you desire, without having to prepare it!

Love y’all and Ya-Ya mammas rock, (or at least shows our kids that the fun doesn’t end when a baby pops out and they have a whole bunch of misadventure to look forward to when they are parents!) ūüėČ

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And here is what they prepared for me. The drink is solid because the made “homemade juice” and this is just my first course I’m told.

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Then they ask for me to go make them the Texas French toast that I promised them last night (I was trying to thwart such displays of love through food and dirty pet turtle hands. ¬†I’m going to start a round of antibiotics probably.

I just finished my post for tomorrow morning. ¬†I just love this one. ¬† Can’t wait to share it. ¬†It had me finding 60 year old photos of my Grandmother, before she had a family of her own. ¬†The pictures are like a window into who she was before she she assumed the role of everyone caregiver. ¬†She was a hell raiser and my best friend.

Abbie, All that makes you…¬†¬†allthatmakesyou.com

I’m Gonna Kick That Rabbits A$$

So if I ever skip a day posting, like yesterday …please say a little prayer for me.I will have a new post I’m writing in my head that will have a title something like,

“I’m taking the Easter Bunny back behind the woodshed.”

or

“I’m going to kick that Bunnies A$$!”.

Story content will have everything to do with three little boys deciding to color Easter eggs without me.  I told them we would would color eggs when I came back from the grocery store.  They called me on my cell while I was shopping to say they decorated the eggs without me.  They were so proud.

I exhaled while yelling in the phone, “BUT I HAVEN’T BOILED THE EGGS YET!”

Peter happily said, “I know Mom! ¬†That’s why we poked a hole in the top and bottom of each egg and BLEW THEM OUT!”

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I came home with a suburban full of groceries and no way to bring them into the kitchen. ¬†There was yolk on the backsplash and floor was a hazmat site. Slimy egg whites all over the floor and dried egg white splatter all over the dark wood cabinets, the countertops, and the appliances. I am not even stressed out yet about the dye that is spilled all over the kitchen table and chairs and banquette. ¬†I hadn’t even processed the fact my kids have put their mouths all over unwashed raw eggs. ¬†The CDC is going to have a tough time determining if our salmonella outbreak is from our Easter eggs or from catching turtles in the pond.

Why YES, Peter did indeed bring a turtle from our pond to the club’s Saturday Easter brunch, because that is the only way we could get him out of the pond.

We woke up to find our baskets this morning and Peter received a giant container of SUPER bubble juice the Easter Bunny gave him.

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The Easter bunny was thinking it may kill some of the turtle germs on his hands.  Then, because AGAIN God has a sense of humor, Peter then immediately spilled the SUPER bubble juice all over on our shag carpet.  Our thick throw rug shag carpet on a wood floor with a foam grippy pad under it, like the kind of shag rug that needs a rake and makes me immediately midcentury modern cool because we have it in our house.

Little known facts about shag carpet and bubble juice.

– Bubble juice, SUPER bubble juice is sticky like glue.

– Shag carpet can hold about $197.69 in change before you notice that their is money in your carpet and this means it is NEVER letting the sticky SUPER bubble juice out.

РIn order to get the bubble juice out you have to run pitchers of water through it.  repeatedly.

– In order to get the water out of the carpet you need a shop vac.

– When shop vac’s suction water and SUPER bubble juice it turns the shop vac into a giant bubble maker.

Let me paint a picture…bubbles and water spitting out of the top and sides of shop vac. ¬†I am throwing towels over shop vac to knock down spray. ¬†Shop Vac has pretty giant bubbles stuck to all of its cracks.

I’m still in my pjs due to bubble juice extraction is a messy, messy job.

Another bit of proof that God had a sense of humor is that the egg mess and the bubble mess did not happen in the same room.

Pray for me. Heck, you better pray for my kids!

I think I may have just written that post.  Writing is like therapy.  I tried my first post from my phone and finally opened laptop.  I kept updating as I wrote so sorry if you read a first draft.

Our weird little Peter asked for Breathe Right Strips because his nose is always stuffed up from allergies.  He is a sucker for marketing.  Cannot wait to see our seven year old sleeping tonight with one on.

Happy Easter!

Do you see the little arms on Peter’s tadpole. ¬†It was in my house! ¬†Uh-huh!

Another holiday that tries to turn me into a liar…

I cannot lie to my kids. ¬†Let me clarify, I can lie to them about things like, I don’t know what the correct/anatomical word for “the place between where the babies exit out.” ¬†You can find the explanation for that in my post entitled just that, no need to beat a dead horse. But when they ask me, “Is there really a Santa?” I freeze. ¬†If I say yes will they believe me when I tell them something that is really pertinent. ¬†Why the charade? ¬†I sidestep the questions with quick questions back, “I don’t know”, “What do you think?” or “Have YOU seen Santa? ¬†I haven’t but I have heard other (crazy/liars) people say they have.” ¬†I found myself in the same predicament a few years ago when the¬†Easter¬†season came around and lets face it…

There aint never been an Easter Bunny costume that looks real!

My mother-in-law was in town and I decided it would be a cute idea to take the boys to the mall to visit the Easter Bunny.¬† On the way there I told them our intentions, (and mentioned a trip to the candy store afterwards) and was instantly bombarded with the usual Mitchell questions.¬† “Is the Easter Bunny real?”¬† “Is that a man in the Bunny suit?”

Not wanting to lie to them I usually skirt these questions and just try not to answer.¬† I will point out things on the side of the road or bring up something fun to do.¬† I tried these tactics and it didn’t work.¬†

Finally, Mitchell shouted, “Why won’t you just tell me…IS HE REAL?”¬†

Avery sat quietly listening for my response. 

I looked over at Jim’s Mom, took a deep breath and said, “Well, the spirit of the Easter Bunny is real, I guess.”¬† Then, no more questions.

We get to the mall and walk around for a while and¬†we find the Bunny photo station.¬† There were no children in line and so Avery and Mitchell walked up to the unusually small Easter Bunny and stood right in front of him, (kind of like “The Shining¬†Twins”).¬†

The Bunny, waiting for them to take a seat on his lap, sat completely still as Mitchell slowly bent his knees to lower himself and peered into the Bunny’s mouth. ¬†

Mitchell proclaims, while pointing his finger in the rabbits mouth, “I SEE YOU!¬† I CAN SEE THE MAN INSIDE THE BUNNY COSTUME!¬†¬†I TOLD YOU THE EASTER BUNNY ISN’T REAL!”¬†

Now Mitchell is looking over at me while I am standing next to them on the other side of the “velvet line ropes”.¬† He is looking at me, the Easter Bunny has his oversized head twisted to the side looking at me, the Easter Bunny’s personal photographer is looking at me and I am at a loss of words.¬† Suddenly, Avery whacks Mitchell in the arm and he exclaimed, as he too is doing the knee bend peering into the rabbits mouth move, “MITCHELL HE IS REAL, THAT IS THE “SPIRIT” OF THE EASTER BUNNY IN THERE!!!”¬† And that was that.¬†

¬†The Bunny nodded an emphatic yes with his thumb up.¬†¬†He then held up a rolled up coloring book for them¬†he had in a basket by his feet and the boys said, “THANKS SO MUCH!”¬†and were off.¬†

Happy Easter everyone.  May the SPIRIT of the season be with you!

-Abbie, All that makes you…