Why I Will Never be Freshly Pressed

Why I Will Never be Freshly Pressed

1. I didn’t put TEN REASONS why I will never be “Freshly Pressed” as my title.  Everyone knows you need a numbered list.

2. I usually have a picture of children being rotten in my posts.  The pictures are also of poor quality because I am snapping it with a phone while making sure whatever child is not in the picture isn’t running away and trying to join another family.  Seriously, it’s a real possibility when your mom posts about everything including your “sperm diameter fears.”

3. My pictures of children are of my children at commercial places like Disney World‘s Epcot and not an ethnic and interesting child in Vietnam or some other culturally rich part of the world.  I live in a subdivision.  When we do go on vacation it is to places that don’t require a 22 hour plane ride and 9 vaccinations for each child.

Flower H'mong ladies


4. I do not post pictures of food.  I tend to eat food and not take photos of it.  If I stopped to take a photo of my food or copy a picture of it, it’s probably because I don’t want to eat it because of what it looks like.

I sooooo copied this on my Pinterest board.
I am thinking I will print up the recipe & just leave
it on the kitchen counter for my kids to find.
5. I haven’t used the Hipstamatic. What the hell is Instagram?  If it is what I think I have an entire tote of them from 1976 due to the acid in photo paper back then and my mom’s poor photo storage or lack thereof.
6.  I do not participate in extreme sports and I certainly don’t lay on the ground while a skier or skateboarder does a trick over me for a photo opportunity.  Living with three little boys is dangerous enough.
7. I don’t put pictures from famous, newly released movies and call it a review and a post.  We all know your just taking some cute and cuddly picture of a character and slapping it up as your post because you are going to get people to click on it.  Uh-huh, you know who you are.  Those stats don’t count.
8. My parents were hippies.  That means I averaged 45 absences per school year and I have no idea how to use a comma and what is the difference between a colon and a semicolon?  Can’t poor punctuation and grammar be considered endearing?
9. I can only think of nine reasons and that isn’t a good round number for “Freshly Pressed.”
I have a whopping two comments and so I am adding two pictures because both of the TWO people who commented have been “Pressed” and I am following their lead.  Still not a single comment in there.  See number 8.  The fact that I am always updating posts is now my number nine.
This is our youngest and only girl.  God has a sense of humor, (again) because we have the cutest and sweetest dog in the whole world but you CANNOT pet her because she pees.
“And it was all yellow”
Goldfinches love to hide among the dandelions in our lawn.

You look at the contents of my “underwear drawer” and then nominate me for awards? Cool.

I was nominated for a few awards and since I am new to this whole realm I needed to get my bearings before I passed them on.  Thank you for being patient if you nominated me.  It really is an honor to know someone was reading your blog and took the time to share.

I was nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award by three bloggers (I still cannot believe three people are reading my thoughts.)  Thinking, again, about how this whole experience feels like dumping my underwear in the middle of the floor at a dinner party.  What am I doing?  I don’t even know how to use a comma.  Thanks for reading and nominating and commenting and there must be something wrong with you…I like it.

Plan-B Each –  http://planbeach.wordpress.com/

The Adventures of Jaydon and Daddy – http://jaydonanddaddy.com/

Unfinishedbizness  –  http://unfinishedbizness.wordpress.com/

I have to say a special thank you to Stacy Dymalski at From Nonsense to Momsense for giving me word of encouragement and my first award nomination.

You can find her here.  http://stacydymalski.wordpress.com/

The rules for accepting this award are as follows, (These are the Versatile Blogger rules.  Hey, I am busy chasing three boys!  Nominate me another time and I will answer the Sunshine Award questions.)

1. Thank the award-givers and link back to them in your post.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass this award along to the people’s blogs I enjoy

4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.

Seven things about me…

1.  I was named after a man, Abbie Hoffman. He was a political activist and author whom the FBI admitted to having a file on him 13,262 pages long.  My parents had high expectations for me.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abbie_Hoffman#cite_note-26

2.  I know how to use a blowtorch.

3. I enjoy reading two books to my children repetitively when they are young.  They even let me do them in the crazy voices and never complain.

The Big Bad Wolf is Good

Bootsie Barker Bites

4. I enjoy digging in the dirt and planting things far more than a glass of wine.  I enjoy gardening even more with music and my boys running around me.

5. I can hula and even use poi balls, (my boys find it hilarious but I wont earn their respect until I light the poi balls on fire.)

6. I am not a germ freak but I cannot stand in a tile shower without flip flops on.

7. Sponge Bob and Nicki Minaj make my ears feel like someone is pouring acid in them.

Blogs I enjoy

I haven’t read a ton of blogs but I am trying to see what is out there.  I am fearful it will change how I write my stories that I want to give my kids one day.  The whole reason I started writing was so that they would know who I was at this moment and how I interpreted our family.  It’s a legal thing in case they decide to sue me when they grow up (and because my own mom died at 39 before she had a chance for me to know who she was.  Now that I am her age I think often how she really was just doing the best she could with her circumstances.  I am still pissed at her though.)  I am already planning to counter sue my boys for refusing to exit my uterus thus destroying my belly button and turning it into a cup holder.  You all may get subpoenaed.  I’m kidding.  I’m kidding.  I’m kidding.







And a Liebster Blog award from Chris Hall.

Thank you so much Chris! This award is for newbies with a small number of followers to help spread the word about their new blog.

Thanks again Chris http://jaydonanddaddy.com/

I will share a brand new blog that I enjoy but already has had way more hits that I have.  Lucky girl with being “Freshly Pressed” on her first post!


Oh, and I know I am doing the links and trackbacks and all the other technical stuff wrong.  I will eventually figure this all out.  Thanks for being patient.