What is a Wordless Wednesday?

I took this photo yesterday at my father in-laws house.

Ok, so I get the wordless Wednesday thing but I have been without any consistent technology and I’m breaking! So until I finish writing, (ON MY PHONE) a post for tomorrow I will leave you with a photo I took yesterday, and a few words.

We are wrapping up a trip to our rural hometown, out of state, and I cannot stop daydreaming about making out with my washer and dryer the moment I walk in the door to our home.

If my washer and dryer had legs and arms we would be running through a field of wildflowers towards one another, arms outstretched. When we get within a few feet of each other my washer would throw its door open and I would toss all of our dirty clothes in and possibly our three boys and definitely our dog.

Thanks for letting me share,
allthatmakesyou.com All that makes you smile, laugh, think, love, cry or cry laughing.

Get Some Pants On

I may not ever understand my three sons.

Get your pants on!

“I Have an App for That”

Peter, (our seven year-old), “Do you know you can use a can of hairspray and a match to make a flame thrower?” He was very excited with knowing this information.

I was not happy that he knew it.

“And how did you figure that out?” -Me

Peter, “Oh, I have an app for that.”

During our Saturday morning snuggle and talk session…

Peter, “You know in July my girlfriend is moving to Texas.”

Abbie, “You know it would be so cool if you gave her your home address and you could be pen pals.”

Peter, “Actually we already talked about it on the playground and were going to FaceTime and Skype.”

Now he turns on his side and looks right into my eyes and says very tenderly…

“Mom, you know it’s like 2012 and not the 1900’s. She’s not going to Texas in a horse and carriage.”

This is coming out of my first graders mouth who is in my bed in his fuzzy pajamas and has his three stuffed bunnies.

Kind of like that.

Abbie,   All that makes you…   allthatmakesyou.com

Worry and Worry Junior Have a Talk

We worry. That’s what parents do.

You can have a child who has “a worry.”

I do.

I have to pretend to not worry because I tell him everything is ok…all day long.

Then I began to worry that he got the worry from me.

Then I remind him, and myself, that our “worry” really means we are aware of how blessed we are.

It is a blessing to be aware of your gifts. It makes you work harder to be worthy.

We complete our homework because we worry about what it would do to our grades if we don’t. I tell him.

It is the people that worry that get things done.

The same way that chocolate goes with vanilla, worry goes with success.

There are people who are paralyzed by worry and sometimes they never leave their homes. I tell him that fear can be like a disease.

We talk about, talking about worrying and I tell him how healthy that is.

I am thankful for my worry, and for being aware of it, and thankful it does not cripple me.

Teaching your children how to find their blessing sometimes helps us just as much as it helps them.

What do you do to keep your worries in check and have you had a little worrier of your own?  Do you tell your kids to just relax or do you teach them how to listen to their fears? 

Abbie, All that makes you… allthatmakesyou.com

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The Hydrangeas are Blooming, Do You Know What That Means?

The hydrangeas are blooming.  

Do you know what that means?

Sangria time!

How are you going to get ready for summer living?

I happened across this pic and thought any of you that watched the video from a couple of days ago…

 Sometimes You Have to be Bad to Remind Yourself You are a DOG

and enjoyed then you might like this pic I snapped without them knowing.

That dog has no idea she is a dog!

Have a great weekend and see you Sunday!

Abbie, All that makes you…  allthatmakesyou.com

Probably Not Your Grandmother’s Advice on Family

The brunette is my grandmother, Opal Jeanette but she always wished it was just Jeanette.  My grandfather called her “OJ”, my mom called her “Ma”, I called her “Mamaw” and my kids called her “Big Mamaw.”  

Here she is with her lifelong friend in this picture, who still misses her and all the fun they had, terribly.  

This is Opal Jeanette back when she could be called whatever she wanted.

Honey, don’t get married.  You will regret it, I know, I did twice.  All it takes is one woman with hot panties and any husband will fail that test.  You will be raising that man for the rest of your life.  And whatever you do, don’t have kids.  I loved my kids more than the world.  It just ends in worry and heartbreak.  I am grateful for my children and grand babies but you will never feel a moments rest.  The worry.”

These are the words I heard for thirty-eight years from my southern grandmother.  There were several variations.  After I married she would change it to, “Now honey, I told you not to get married…”

Then once I had kids she changed it to, “I told you not to have kids but now that you do all you have to do is love them with all of you, but don’t spoil them like I did.  If you do they will just be tore up with jealousy and not get along and then they will break your heart.”

If she knew my husband and I were having a disagreement she would say, “You didn’t listen to me when I told you not to get married and you got married anyway.   Now sister, the key to marriage is EN-DUR-ANCE, endurance.  We women just have to endure these husbands and families.”

I am sure when reading these words, one would be drawn to the conclusion that she might not have been the best grandmother.  She wasn’t.  She could pick and choose who in the family she liked and it could change in the wind.  Probably the only time she consistently loved someone was when she loved me.  It seems to be easier to love a grandchild.  Perhaps one realizes you do the best that you can by the time grandchildren come along.  She was the best grandmother, to me.

She gave me the advice long before I knew what she meant about “hot panties” and she usually gave me the advice while we drank a bourbon and Coke, long before I should have ever been given bourbon and coke.

She was a pistol.   When I was eight she even gave me a pearl handled pistol to carry when I rode my horse bareback.  Years later, and after I had children of my own, I asked her what she was thinking giving kids real guns to play with.  She replied with, “It’s not like I gave you the bullets!”

She had two marriages, four daughters and six granddaughters, just one grandson and sixteen great-grandchildren.   Two of her children died before she did.  Her youngest was stillborn and full term and she lost my mom when my mom was 39.  She grew up in the mountains of Tennessee and moved to Michigan as a young woman.  She died last year during Mother’s Day week at her farm.  I promised her she would stay in her home until the end.

She missed my grandfather that had died a few years before.  The same man she complained about for their entire marriage.  The same man she asked me to find the medication you give a drunk to make them sick if they do have a drink.  She wanted to sneak it in his food.  She also asked me, when Viagra came out, if I could get my grandfather some of the little blue pills.  When I began laughing uncontrollably while covering my ears she began laughing uncontrollably too.  She told me that one day other people might think of me as an old lady, but I won’t feel like one.  Through her laughter she told me that old ladies, “Still have needs.”

She taught me many things, like insight to the various stages in life and the reality that no relationship is perfect and how to make a roux to get a good gravy.

Here we are together.  I lived with her until I started kindergarten and then about any time when I wasn’t in school.  She watched over me for the rest of her life.

She always had a home cooked meal waiting on the table for my grandfather when he walked in from work.  One day she sang and whistled and nearly floated around the kitchen while preparing his supper.  When we all sat down and began passing the dishes she announced with a grin, “I read in the paper today where your girlfriend died.”

He sat silent and eating.  I stayed silent too.

She often liked to talk about ways to poison someone so it wouldn’t be detected during supper. At the end of my childhood I had deduced that the best way to kill someone was ground glass.

The truth, she loved him and he loved her more for over 50 years.  She loved her family the best she could.  I have learned to accept people based on the relationship I have with them and how they treat my little family, me, my husband and my children.  No one has ever treated us better that she and my grandfather did.

When I had our twins and they were premature and sick and I had a husband in medical school.  They came three times a week to rock and hold the twins so I could shower.  They would walk in my home with diapers and groceries and just put them away in our little kitchen.

This is Mamaw with Avery when he was a baby.

When I didn’t go back to work because of our babies surgeries and specialists appointments the first year and we couldn’t afford a second car, they just dropped one off one day.  One time I was rocking two crying babies in the afternoon.  I hadn’t showered because the boys were grumpy and she told me to just put the babies in their swings and to go take care of myself.  When I told her that babies should be held and not put into machines and that we don’t even have swings she said, “Oh, bull$hit.” and she and my grandfather drove off and bought us two.  They they came right back and he put them together for us.  She was a genius.

She may not have wanted the burden of a family once she had it but she took care of us all.  The family she ended up with was her cross to bear, she liked to say.  There is a restlessness in some of us, like my mom, that my grandmother recognized.  She never could figure out how to “mother” that.  She never could figure out how to manage her own restlessness.  I think that is how she was able to accept my grandfather and their children.  She saw herself in them.   It didn’t mean she didn’t love us.  She just loved us all differently.

I flew up to be with her and stay beside her as she was dying.  I laid next to her at night and listed as I thought every breath would be her last.  I washed her and carried her and massaged her swollen body and did thing for her that made her cry that I had to.  We all have some dignity that gets in the way of help.  I told her that it was my pleasure and that I wish I could do more to stop the pain.  We talked like we always had, when she was alert and between the moments of confusion.

I had the blessing of being able to ask her if there was anything she needed to say, anyone she needed to talk to or anything she still needed to do.  She said no.  She said she wanted to be with my Papaw and see my Mom and all the people she had missed.  She said she knew she had made mistakes but that she loved her family and she knew God knew that.  She told me she was thankful for her life, but it had been a hard one and she didn’t want to suffer anymore.  She told me she had talked to God and asked for forgiveness.  She told me she was ready.

I told her that when I was a small child, I prayed every night she wouldn’t die, (like little children do) because I was selfish and didn’t know who would take care of me if I didn’t have her.  When I was older I prayed she would live long enough to see me “be ok” and make something of myself.  I wanted to feel I had made her effort worth something.  Then I was selfish for praying she would live long enough to see me married to a “good” man and then I prayed she would be around to see me have babies and talk to me about how to take care of them.  Then I prayed she would live enough for my kids to have a memory of her.  

I told her I would stop being selfish and that she could go.  

I told her how much love I had for her.  It was a blessing to be able to tell her how thankful I was that she had indeed gotten married and had children and stepped in to care for me.

I told her that she taught me to give and how to give.  To give even when someone isn’t asking and to talk to my kids honestly about life, those are the gifts she gave me and that are part of all that makes me.

Abbie, All that makes you…  allthatmakesyou.com

What kind of grandmother did you have?  Was she the picture perfect grandmother with an apron on?  Did she “tell it like it is” like mine?

Dear Parent’s Who Do Not Think All Americans Should Have the Same Rights,

Dear Fellow Parents in North Carolina,

Please stop asking me to “Get out and vote FOR the marriage amendment” and that “You believe marriage is between one man and one woman.”

It makes me lose respect for you.  It makes me think you aren’t very intelligent.  It makes me think you’re insensitive, and that you would feed my children to yours if you had to.  It makes me think you will find a Bible verse to justify it.  It just makes me not like you.

Here is what the voters in North Carolina are presented with this week…

Marriage Amendment 1

The measure would define marriage in the state constitution as between one man and one woman, and would ban any other type of “domestic legal union” such as civil unions and domestic partnerships.[1][2]

Same-sex marriage is already illegal in the state of North Carolina. The proposed measure, however, would add the ban to the state constitution.[3]

How is it possible that a country that was founded on the idea of religious freedom and separation of church and state be so forgetful?  How can the Unites States of America, that invades other countries in the name freedom, want to discriminate against two people who want to be together but do not have the proper anatomy to be considered the “opposite sex?”

How can a sweet, southern accent, blond bob, fellow mom that has a glass of wine with me and shares stories about our funny and adorable kids spew this insanity?

How can you know your children are going to be straight or gay?  How do you know that if one of you children announces in twenty years that they are in love with someone and want to share their life with them that you will be able to say “those words”, then, that you are plastering all over FaceBook, now?  How can you look at your child and tell them that their love is less valuable than the love of two people who do not have the same “private parts?”  How can you teach your children to love and to be “Godly” and to not judge and yet you are?

You are judging based on your religious beliefs with the same tenacity that people across the world have when they strip away the rights of people, in the name of religion.  In Afghanistan women aren’t allowed to drive.  I am sure you believe that is just ridiculous.  The law banning female drivers is based on their religion.  A religion that brought people to our great country to seek religious freedom and personal rights.

Your religion should not be dictating our laws.  This is what founded this country.  We believed in freedom for all.  We believed to be treated equally.  Why should opposite sex couples be allowed more freedoms than same-sex couples?  If you don’t like it based on your religious beliefs then don’t let them get married in your church.

I cannot imagine that your loving, forgiving and accepting God would want you to judge.  I don’t care what version of the Bible your reading.  My God is loving.  He created us and he created us all different.  I refuse to deny rights to Americans because of sexual orientation and I refuse to believe that homosexuality is a choice and something you can get “help” for.

How can you say your “proud to be an American” and yet you want to take away the freedom and liberties of people who don’t live with your same religious beliefs?

I took both of these photos myself with several years between them.  The old man who drives this truck with his homemade “bumper stickers” bungeed onto the back makes me proud to be an American.   We can have religious differences without being condemned.  I believe those religious beliefs should not get in the way of providing equality to all of our citizens.

Sincerely And With Respect,

Abbie, All that makes you… https://allthatmakesyou.wordpress.com/culprits/

Please feel free to repost/share this onto your FaceBook wall, Twitter…  If I have to listen to everyone telling me to hate you can help me spread the word of love.


  1. ↑ QNotes,”Anti-gay marriage amendment filed in N.C. Senate,” February 22, 2011
  2. ↑ ENCToday.com,”Same sex marriage ban aims to protect definition of marriage,” February 24, 2011
  3. ↑ The Huffington Post,”North Carolina Puts Gay Marriage Ban On May 2012 Ballot,” September 13, 2011


Info also gathered from Ballotpedia