“Keep Your Heads Out of The Toilet!” (best preschool advice ever)

When sending our twin boys off to preschool telling them to “keep your heads out of the toilet” wasn’t a pearl of wisdom I thought necessary.  I was wrong.
While my husband was in residency we had the twins in a preschool program that was run through the public schools. The school system had many requirements that included the children being “bathroom independent”. This means they require no assistance in the restroom.

I walked in the classroom one day to pick up the boys when the teachers suggested that all of the parents of boys to take the boys home and put them right in the bath. The teacher was smiling and could barely say it without laughing. I waited until all the other parents left the room, (my morbid curiosity as both my boys were wet) and approached the teachers. I said something like, “OK, I know mine were part of whatever went down today. What exactly happened?”

The teachers suddenly had a confused look on their faces and one said, “Well, I was in the hall waiting for the boys to finish their bathroom break and they were taking a little longer than usual. I decided it was getting way too loud in there so I opened the boys bathroom and…I don’t understand why…I mean they were laughing and…ALL OF THE BOYS WERE STICKING THEIR HEADS IN THE URINALS AND FLICKING THEIR HAIR AT EACH OTHER AND LAUGHING!”

Whhhhaaaaattttttt????? Then suddenly I figured out what would make them do this and I knew that mine had started it. The night before, to keep them busy, I put a couple inches of water in the bath and dyed it BLUE and gave them toy sailboats and they were pushing them around. I told them we were playing “ocean”.  I was busy changing sheets when I heard them getting loud and when I walked into our bathroom they were leaning over the side of the bathtub and were dipping their hair in the blue “ocean” water (the color of blue urinal thingys) and flicking it at each other and laughing like fraternity boys half way through a keg.

So mine were to blame and since it was pretty funny and since I never really got along with “teachers” 😉 I said, “Oh, that’s my fault. Whenever one of them has an accident in their pants I dunk their head in the toilet to teach them a lesson.” And then I walked away. What are they thinking leaving a bathroom full of boys unattended?!

PS My husband was very concerned the teachers would not get my humor.

I updated our “Us” tab above. 🙂

-Abbie, allthatmakesyou.com

(reprint – Spending time with kids on spring break)

13 thoughts on ““Keep Your Heads Out of The Toilet!” (best preschool advice ever)

  1. We share a similar sense of humor. When I receive a new student (I teach 5th) I reassure the nervous looking parent (who is eyeing me up and down giving me the silent 3rd degree) that we only beat the children on Tuesdays. I’ve only had one parent look at me funny and look at the guidance counselor with pleading eyes…. I also tell the kids at school not to play in the bushes on the playground because that’s where all the dogs pee (which is probably correct). And upon meeting my husband’s boss for the first time (whom I’ve come to hate) he asked me when he saw me having lunch with my husband (on a work day) “didn’t you just have a baby?” I replied “yes” (it was summer, L was at daycare and I was having lunch with hub) He looked and said “well, where is he?” I told him “oh, he’s in the car, but don’t worry, I cracked a window, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” AND HE BELIEVED ME (for a minute, what a dunce). Also reminds me of a story at a school where middle school girls were practicing ‘blotting’ their lipstick by kissing the bathroom mirrors. The principal and the janitor called all of the girls from a particular class into the bathroom where they shared with the girls how the janitor ‘cleans’ the mirrors- he dipped a rag into a toilet infront of the girls and wiped down the mirror. Needless to say, the ‘kissing’ of the mirrors stopped.

    • He he he. Same brain. I used to tell my cousins kids the way to Disney World was through the return register ducts. Onion eyes…of course you just fill your mouth with bread while you cut to soak up the smell before it gets to your eyes.

    • That was random. They were way too old to have those on. We ended up at a hotel traveling and it had an indoor pool. Most unexpected. We didn’t have a swimsuit but I had two old swim diapers in the van. SO I made them wear them. They kept complaining they were TOO BIG and that they bugged them. I snapped a picture to tease them later and he just did this. Perfect! Thanks for the comment and reading!

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