Eventually it turns into a (very funny ;)) story of a wife’s revenge…
I just bought a new hoe today. I broke my last one last fall. With winter being winter, I have spent the last few months trying to find the perfect hoe. Sharp corners, lightweight , doesn’t feel like its splintering in my hands, durable, few weld joints… What I think I really want is one with a thick graphite handle. A little cushion like a golf club but less frustrating. What did I buy today, your garden variety (couldn’t help myself) hoe. I, as usual, cannot find what’s in my head.
I opened up every pair of hand pruners, (so sorry to the “PO” or as everyone else calls it, Home Depot) and chose the ones labeled by the “Arthritis Foundation” as being the best for seniors. I am turning 40 this year and since jumping on the shovel has already made my right knee creaky I would like to protect my hands.
Now the shovel…I have “gone through” about 7 over the years. I did go through three in one day which led to me pulling out a log chain and hooking it up to my old “Chester The Molester Ghetto Gold” conversion van (anyone that has known me forever remembers it but may have not commented for fear of insulting me but I was always aware that women wouldn’t park next to me at the mall for fear of being abducted and for those who haven’t known me as long…it had mini blinds…enough said) I drove it while JR was in medical school.
So the elderly neighbor lady asks, “So….you were raised in the country?” I just laughed as I stood in the front yard with my two, two year olds sleeping on a blanket under a tree in the shade while all this was going on. I can’t have any fun at this house because of the sprinklers but I have mentioned I would like a Bobcat a few times to JR.
When JR came home from the hospital he walked right past the half a dozen 40 year old Volkswagen sized shrubs..upside down…in the front yard, and six half pieces of shovels. He says (rather angrily), “You couldn’t break ONE shovel before you pulled out the log chain? You had to break THREE!” Then he went inside.
When he went to work the next day he found an arborvitae sitting in his front seat. A very large arborvitae. It took some doing to get it in there. I watched him from the upstairs window. I watch from up there because I think I am hilarious and I was afraid he would hear me snorting when he was walking down the driveway to the car.