Aren’t you glad you only had to do that twice to get three kids?

All three and all goofballs

One of the biggest indications that we no longer have all LITTLE boys happened this spring. I had just the twins in the Suburban and, while in a drive-thru, they started bombarding me with questions about how our dog Lilly could be half Australian Lab and half poodle. After explaining many times that there was a mom that was a poodle, the lab was the dad, and the babies were Australian labradoodles, (I am fully aware she is a mutt) one of them asked, (very annoyed at my vague answers) “But how did the dad get the lab IN the poodle?!” So I pulled out of the drive-thru and thought “Where is their dad?” I parked the suburban, turned around, and said “We have been waiting for the right time to explain some things and I guess that time is right now.” Yeah, were having “the talk” at a chicken-joint. All things considered and without forethought, I must admit I did a stand up job for a mom to her sons. When they asked when they will do this, I quickly explained that once they had a college degree, a good job, and owned a home with a spare bedroom they could…because they would make a baby and would need a place to put it! At the end of the talk there was silence, looks of disgust, and head tilts followed by a final outburst of “things make so much more sense now!” “How many people know about this?” “So EVERY person got here THAT way?” Then one of them asked, “Aren’t you sooo happy you and dad only had to do THAT twice to get three kids?!”


10 thoughts on “Aren’t you glad you only had to do that twice to get three kids?

  1. Awesome story. My son told me he needed some viagra. When I asked why, he said it was for his sinuses. He meant allegra. I asked him if he knew what viagra was and he answered “oh yea, that’s the stuff that makes you frisky.” HUH?!

  2. This is so funny! I have 10 year old boy/girl twins and I promised them very early on I’d be as honest as possible. It’s not easy with answering these questions with both sexes staring me down, but a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do.

  3. I still remember thinking the very same thing when I got the talk (but it wasn’t at a chicken joint).

    • You did really? I was raised around farm animals so I don’t remember ever having “the talk” but our country club kids did not have the luxury. We never sat them down but felt they would let is know when they were ready. I have another story to tell soon about the “greater detail” talk that had me bent over. Here is an excerpt, “I just want to know!!!!…is this SPERM a liquid or a solid?!!”

  4. Awesome! LOL! You know, they asked, right? The chicken joint was the perfect location. Since I have a singleton and twins, I especially got a kick out of “Aren’t you glad you only had to do that twice to get three kids.” Classic! :)

    • I hope you had twins first! We did and it seemed that our singleton was a breeze. Could not have imagined the other way. I chanted every night… “I have two arms and God gave me two babies….now if I had three babies I could not do it…” I turn into a mean girl when I see the mother of “higher order multiples”. I point and laugh at them. I REALLY do.

  5. Hilarity! That you were having “the talk” with your boys at a chicken joint, to the comments about only having to do “THAT” twice… I’ll be laughing all day. Thanks! :-D

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